Friday!! January 6, 2012

Gotta be quick...

First, I woke up and got ready for the Gym. While I was getting dressed my sweet precious daughter whispers to me, "daddy, you love to eat don't you"? I asked why she would ask me that and she replies "because you have such a big belly".

The perfect motivation! To go back to bed

But I didn't. Yay for Fatty.

Then I dropped my son off to school for the last time in my crap car. As he left he said he couldn't wait to see our new car that I was picking up later that night. Then he said he couldn't wait to grow up and be lady gaga.

At the Gym, what usually happens to me, happened to my buddy. He got stuck talking to an old naked man in the locker room who had a serious 70's pube fro. That's the worst. I don't know what it is with old men and locker rooms. They will sit there bare assed and have a full conversation with you, and they can't sense the awkward desperation that we are going through to not look at their old gross balls. So as I exited the area and got to a corner of the locker room where my buddy could see me, but the old man couldn't. I then did what any mature 32 year old man would do, I mooned my friend and pretended to stick my water bottle in my bum to try and get him to laugh while talking to the old man. I was impressed, he didn't crack. (no pun intended).

Then came home.

I was hungry, because dieting sucks. So of course I make my sandwich perfectly and forget to empty the mustard juice before applying mustard. Hence, soaking my bread and ruining my long awaited lunch. I can't tell you how many times my food plans have been foiled by the evil that is Mustard Juice!!

***The following is an unexaggerated reenactment of the "Mustard Incident"

*no containers of mustard were hurt during the making of this video

Why can't I ever be patient enough to just make sure all that stupid juice is gone before attempting to put it on my sandwich.

Oh well, fool me once, shame on....

How does that go?

Lets see...

What else Happened today..................?

Oh Yeah, I got a Mercedes.

Happy friday, poopy pants!

....The following is another type to talk movie written by this untalented Ginger.